It's a lifestyle.

I remember being in college and enjoying nothing more than spending time with my girls. You see, I went to college about six hours away from home and I was alone, so the friends I met during my freshman year became family to me. We loved to be together and we enjoyed going out to have a good time. 

As with many college girls, we lived to go out on weekends to just have a good time dancing, meeting new people, seeing people we knew, and having people see us.  It was just part of the college experience for me. Now, with going out, especially to parties and special events, came dressing up and looking good. So, we did just that. We spent time listening to music, going from room-to-room sharing makeup and sometimes clothes, and just getting ourselves ready to enjoy our young lives.

Those were pretty fun times, but over the years, I found myself taking a look back at me. I wasn't as confident back then as I would have liked to have been, but I sure did feel just a little boost of confidence when I put the heels on, latched the pretty earrings in my ears, put my arms through that sparkly shirt, and squeezed into those jeans that I thought made me look just right. What I didn't realize was that I was finding identity in what others saw, not in who Christ is or what He saw in me. 

Ask yourself these questions. 

Am I looking for acceptance? 

Am I wondering if my value is worth more than the clothes I wear, the position I hold, who I'm with, or even what I do? 

Am I ready to have others see me from the inside out?    

Read I Peter 3:3-4.

Many women just want to be seen. Some want to be seen for the accomplishments they've made, the things they've avoided, the stuff they have, or for the way they look. I too have been in that place, and it can be a challenge sometimes to fight against the desire to just be seen. 

I don't believe that many of us want to be seen because we want applause, but because we want to be accepted, and seen as someone who has value and worth. I'm here to tell you that you are already accepted and you have value and worth.  You have been fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14) by the creator of the universe.

I'm reminded of a young woman who did all she could to be noticed. She wore the right clothes, tried to associated with the right people, followed most of the trends, attended the important events, and even sometimes did things that went against her character,  all just to be noticed. Have you ever heard a story like this or is this your story? This is all too common for some women. As you spend time in God's word, learning about his character and his ways, getting to know the person of Christ, I encourage you to allow his word to do what only it can do - change your heart. 

When you begin to experience heart change, those around you won't only notice you for how you look on the outside, but more importantly because of what's flowing from the inside to the outside.  

Ask yourself these questions.

Why do I want to be noticed?

Am I being seen because of something outside of me?

Are others able to see fruit in my life?

Read Galatians 5:22-26.

When you wake up in the morning, you automatically get yourself together to face the new day. You may or may not grab breakfast, workout in the morning, or even take a  shower (if you did the night before), but there is one thing you are sure to do before you leave the house or jump on a Zoom call - you get dressed and ready for your day. 

If you're a woman who is into makeup, you take your time putting on your foundation and making sure your lashes pop. If your hair has to be just right, you may get it done frequently or do it each morning. If your clothes have to be styled a certain way, you may try on multiple outfits and shoes before you settle on the look you want to have . Getting yourself ready can almost be a job in and of itself because what you put on and how you look matters to you.

I have a few questions. What if there were some things you could put on that trumped all of that other stuff? Would you wear them? What if there were some things you could put on that was for you, but not just for you? Would you make sure that you didn't begin your day without them? What if there were things you could decide to wear that would give others hope? Would you reach for them each day? If your answers are yes, then I am so happy to give you some good news.  There are a few things that you should put on each day that will help you and provide that hope for those you encounter throughout your day. 

Put on Christ and his way. He is so much better than clothes.

Ask yourself these questions.

In what areas of my life do I need to display more of the character of Christ? 

What would it look like if I chose to put on the character of Christ  at home, in relationships, at work, in the community, even on social media?

Think of examples in your life when you remember yourself displaying the character of Christ.  How did things turn out?

Read Colossians 3:12-17.

The mirror. It’s the thing you run to when you’re getting ready in the morning. It’s the place you go when you want to put on makeup, do your hair, or brush your teeth. If you’re like me, it can become the audience you look into when you are preparing for a presentation or just letting loose and doing your own concert. The mirror. It gives you that reflection of someone you should know very well, but at times you don’t think you know her at all. It’s the thing you peer into to give you confirmation that you are looking good today, or the thing you use to judge how much better you should look. The mirror, the one right in your room or your bathroom or your workout gym or your car or your office, yes, that square, circular, and sometimes oddly shaped thing is what you run to when you want to see YOU. 

I remember going to the mirror many times and not liking what I saw. Sometimes it was just that I didn’t tie my hair up the night before and it was a mess. Or maybe I had an unattractive pimple that just wouldn’t go away. Or maybe it was because I was being insecure about the gap in between my teeth. Or it could have been that I just woke up feeling unsure of how I should feel about me. We all go through moments when we don’t like what we see in the mirror, but when that feeling is lasting and doesn’t seem to go away, that is when we run into problems and we need to look again, but with a different perspective.

Did you ever think that maybe there were times when that mirror was lying to you? Have you ever seen yourself in the mirror and realized that you weren’t looking at the person you thought you should see? Have you ever been to a carnival or gone through a mirror maze with distorting mirrors? If you have, you get the point. What you see about you is what the mirror wants you to see. It’s what the mirror was designed to show you. I wouldn’t be surprised if there were mirrors out there that had a filter option so you could see not what’s truly there but what you think you want to see. You know, just like the filter features on videos or social media. 

This is not about denying the truth that exists in the mirror, because there is some truth there. This is also not just about looks because we all go to the mirror to put on makeup, brush our teeth, wash our face and so much more. This is really about knowing where to go to find out the truth about you, then coming to the mirror with that truth in hand.  This is about your mind, your heart, and your words. It's about what you think of yourself, what you believe in your heart about you, and what you say to yourself.  Your mirror shouldn’t be the thing that determines how you feel about yourself. That should come from a more perfect place, and there’s only one. The mirror should only confirm what you already know. True beauty goes beyond what you see in a mirror and into the One you see and what He sees in you. 

The mirror is in its rightful place now. It's not the place we go to find out if we’re beautiful or not, but a tool we use to confirm God’s truth about us and something we all use to get ourselves together in the morning. Now, it’s time to look, again. You are remarkably, fearfully, beautifully, and wonderfully made, and nobody’s mirror needs to tell you that. Look again, but with clearer vision and a different perspective. See yourself the way God sees you, yes, broken and sometimes a mess, but still beautiful indeed.

Ask yourself these questions. 

Have I gone to the wrong place to find out what is beautiful and right about me? 

Are there any lies that I've believed about myself and made it my own truth?

How have I taken the time to investigate what God says about me?

Read Psalms 139:13-14, Ephesians 2:10; I Peter 2:9

As a mom, I frequently find myself telling my boys that I love them.  It's pretty random sometimes when it happens and other times it's planned, but whenever I think about it I say it. When I am reminded that they are gifts from God, I show them that they are loved. When I see them in the morning, I wrap my arms around them, kiss their cheeks and let them feel that they are loved. It's not because I don't think they know it or that I think they've forgotten, but it's because I want them to feel and believe it when I'm not around or even when they don't hear me say it.

I keep a framed message in their bathroom that says " you are loved." When they get up in the morning and look in the mirror, I want them to be reminded that the person behind the skin they're in, the eyes they have, the texture of their hair, the muscles on their bodies or lack thereof, the height of their stature, the weight they carry or don't carry; that person is loved no matter what. I think God wants us to know that, too. He wants you to know and really believe that you too are loved with an everlasting love. In fact, He loved us, you, so much that he willingly gave the most precious gift that could have ever been given - his son. Now would you give your most valuable possession to someone you didn't care too much about? I doubt it. 

I want you to begin to see yourself as God sees you. He sees you as SO loved. He gave his one and only because he SO loved you. He took his time and paid great attention to when and how you were created. Don't let anyone or any situation rob you of the love that God has so freely given you. Just receive it. There are many negative things that people and the culture will try to tell you about you that may or may not be true. There are things that well-meaning people sometimes say or even ways that they treat you that can make you feel unimportant, invisible, and just unloved. There are even whispered words that you rehearse to yourself that don't speak well of you, bring up your mistakes, and never remind you of how precious you are.  Whenever you're confronted with those things that constantly come to tear you down or beat you up, look in the mirror again and remind yourself that you only need to start from the place of being loved. 

Ask yourself these questions. 

Do I sometimes feel unloved? 

Are there people in my life constantly remind me that I am or am not loved? Who are they? 

Do I have someone to turn to who can speak well of me no matter what my past looks like?    

Read John 3:16, Psalms 139:13-16, Romans 5:6-8.

We live in a world where people are valued for what they do, their gifts and talents, how they look, and even for the positions or titles they hold. Often times, the people who don't seem to have something special about them go overlooked, and those who seem to have "it" are valued merely because of the perceptions of others. Don't get me wrong, valuing and taking note of the gifts and talents others bring to a group is important. Our families and communities need those things. Those gifts bring so much life to our families, culture, churches, relationships, businesses, and a host of other things. However, your value and worth as an individual shouldn't depend on what you bring to the table. Worth and value is intrinsic. Each one of us were created in the image of God with worth and value built in.

So what happens when you're valued more for what you can do, rather than for who you are? What happens when you don't feel valued or treasured at all because you aren't seen as having something special to bring? What happens when you look in the mirror and you realize that you've believed lies about yourself, instead of holding on to what God has said about you all along? It can wear you down and tear you down, if you let it. 

I remember when I was in middle school, there was a girl who said something to me on the playground that I really took to heart. It was a very mean and hurtful comment that I can't even believe I still remember to this day. During that time, and looking back on it, I knew that I was loved and that I had gifts and talents, but in my middle school mind, there was still something else I didn't have that would make me feel worthy, valued, treasured. Her words further pushed me into believing that what I saw in the mirror wasn't enough.

I'm sure you've been in that place a time or two, but I encourage you to look again with a different set of eyes. Look in the mirror and see yourself, not through the eyes of people who don't see you for who you were created to be. Look at yourself again, but not through the lens of people who had no say in how you were created. Get close to that mirror again and see more clearly this time. See yourself through the eyes of God and through what he's said about you. You are treasured by God and by those who love you. You have worth and value no matter what mistakes you've made, experiences you've had, or things you've seen in life. It's been proven by God by the demonstration of his love for you while you were still in sin, and you might still be there now. He valued you so much that he didn't wait for you to get it right or to feel loved before he demonstrated his love. It's time to see that in the mirror. And, because you are his, you can see yourself as new and as a changed person when you look in that mirror, knowing that if what you see is good enough for the God of heaven to pour out his mercy on, you are good enough for YOU no matter what others think.  God deems you as so loved, treasured and valued.

Ask yourself these questions.

What things, people or situations come to mind that bring up feelings of worthlessness?

Has anything from my past been causing me to see myself as invaluable?

In what practical ways can I remind myself of what God says about me? 

Read Romans 5:8, II Corinthians 5:17, Ephesians 2:4-5, Titus 3:4-7.